🔥Set it to Simmer🔥
How "setting it to simmer" can nurture an erotic atmosphere in your relationship.
Ok folks, time for some good old myth busting!
Great sex doesn’t always spontaneously happen. I know- learning that or even hearing that might complicate some things-
In fact, many people can benefit from integrating “bridging activities” before physical and/or sexual intimacy- think of these as transition routines or rituals you might enjoy before going into your “spicy time.” For some, it might be taking a hot bath or shower, grooming, stretching, enjoying a nice beverage, having a deep conversation with a partner, reading erotica, self-pleasuring, or some other activity that “bridges” us from our stressful, busy, daily lives into a state of receptivity, presence, and pleasure.
But beyond this, how exactly do we even get to the point of WANTING sex? Of wanting to get to that “bridge” per se? What motivates YOU to want sex? (sidenote- sex is not compulsory here-I celebrate however much or as little sex you choose to have!)
Spoiler alert- we generally won’t look forward to sex or intimacy we don’t enjoy. So why not become a co-creator in your pleasure? Pleasure is your responsibility, but it shouldn’t feel like a burden. It should feel DELICIOUS! ❤️
So, how might we begin to cultivate an erotic foundation in our relationship, outside of the bedroom?
Set it to simmer, baby.
What is simmering? I’m sure if you google it, you’ll find a different definition, but I’ll give you mine- it’s continually, intentionally, and thoughtfully co-creating a “slow burn” in your relationship through daily routines, rituals, acts of affection, attention, admiration, love, hugs, kisses, words of affirmation- that help to create a fertile ground for a sustainable bond and connection.
One of the issues? Many people conflate touch with sex- especially when physical intimacy doesn’t exist beyond sex- a gentle graze across the back can feel like a demand, expectation, or obligation, rather than an affirmative and loving, non-goal-oriented gesture in the moment. How might you cultivate non-sexual touch outside of the bedroom? What about hugging? Cuddling? Kissing? Making Out? Dancing? Writing Love Letters? Compliments? Surprises?
What I am offering is an invitation to think about daily routines and rituals that might turn up the temperature from off or freezing cold to simmer, daily, which may then lead to a slow burn, which might just happen to lead to a raging fire at some point (again not the goal- but might we call this a “pleasure effect?”)
This all sounds great, you think, but are you wondering where to start?
Check out the “Rituals for Connection” list below! Try them out or talk about them with your partner(s) -maybe you’ll feel inspired to come up with your own! ❤️
Create a Greeting Ritual
Hold Hands
Cuddle
Get Naked Together
Dance
Schedule Relationship Check-Ins
Shower Together and Make Out
Set aside 2 minutes of undistracted talking/share time
Create an appreciation ritual
10-minute check-in before bed
Create an exercise ritual
Take an evening walk
Share a Meal
Choose a book, podcast, or other media to share
Schedule a mini date
Sexy Text Messages or Photos
These are simply some ideas to help spark your creativity and desires, and the important thing to remember is these simple yet meaningful routines and rituals can help foster senses of connection and help carve out intentional time to be together. Try to eliminate distractions, keep it simple, be present, do it consistently, and have fun! Get playful, laugh, and honestly-
GET CREATIVE!! You are the artist of your erotic repertoire- what needs a little color? Shape? Movement?
I would love to support you more closely on your journey. You can schedule a time to chat here or simply message me directly. I’d love to hear from you!
Thank you for reading! ❤️
WELCOME TO THE PLEASURE SEEKER’S PLAYGROUND!
By the way! I would LOVE to invite you to join my NEW Meet Up Group- The Pleasure Seeker’s Playground! ❤️
You can click the link below to join this amazing community and register for all events, some which will be virtual, others will be in person!
I would LOVE to see you in the community! Click below to join!
Doesn't this sound intriguing? However, you're feeling both unsure and curious about our community. Why don't we talk? I'd love to answer any of your questions during a private conversation. Go ahead and click on my Calendly and book a convenient time for you.
Looking forward to sharing and answering all of your questions and then meeting you in person in our community!
Join me! I’m glad you’re here! ❤️
🌶UPCOMING WORKSHOP ALERT!!!🌶
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