More Play, More Pleasure!
A reminder that who you are extends far beyond what you produce. Plus, your invitation to July's Real Talk: Modern Love
Happy Saturday! 🌹💜
I don’t have much to teach today. Instead, I want to share something personal in the hope that it reminds you of what you love, what lights you up, and that you are so much more than the work you do!
A few weeks ago, I realized I had been working too hard.
I had reached a point of burnout, and I was feeling soul tired.
The funny thing is that I absolutely LOVE what I do. I love immersing myself in the field of sexology every day. I love following my curiosity, mentoring and coaching individuals and couples, planning workshops, hosting events, writing articles and newsletters. My work genuinely brings me pleasure. I get to be creative for a living and talk about sex all day.
Yes, I’m living my dream life.
But I still felt blocked.
I was noticing that a lot of my pleasure, creativity, and identity was becoming tangled up in my work. In trying to monetize my craft, my art, and my creativity, I realized I had quietly stopped asking myself a simple question:
What happened to having fun?!
Yes, I’m a sex, relationship, and intimacy coach. I’m a sexologist, educator, coach, and mentor.
And I’m so much more than that!
Without realizing it, I felt like I was falling into the same cycles of hustle culture and burnout that I thought I had left behind when I walked away from my years as a public-school educator.
So, what did I do?
I stopped.
I started to untangle my play, my creativity, and even parts of my identity from being entirely defined, measured, or quantified by my work. I wanted to make room again for fun. For presence. For adventure. For slowing down. For savoring.
A little less stress.
A little more surrender,
Wonder,
Awe and delight.
…. And a sprinkle of whimsy.
I started thinking about the things I loved as a kid and I’m doing some of them again.
Spending some time growing up in New York, I spent hours rollerblading with my dad and my brother. A few weeks ago, while my partner was out of town, he “accidentally” left his rollerblades by the fire pit.
I looked at them and thought,
What the hell?
I slipped them on.
A few days later, I bought my own pair.
Since then, I’ve been rediscovering the joy of moving my body, stretching myself, feeling the fear of speeding down hills and doing it anyway.
I’ve also been leaning into curiosity.
One of my favorite morning rituals right now is drinking coffee on the back porch while listening to the birds wake up. Lately, I’ve been letting myself become a budding ornithologist with a bird identification app that tells me what species I’m hearing or seeing from a photo or a song.
It’s a little nerdy.
And I love it.
Because all of these little moments of wonder and curiosity help me to
pay attention
and gamify life.
I’m practicing my Spanish on Duolingo.
Y estoy emocionada de seguir practicando porque es divertido!
I’m playing with and noticing colors, patterns, textures, and shapes.
Redecorating spaces in my home that need a makeover—
Dreaming a little bigger.
Opening a little wider.
Saying yes more.
And leaving the excuses at the door.
So,
This is an invitation.
To get a little silly.
To try something for the first time.
Pick up a hobby you loved as a child.
Wear something colorful.
Mix patterns that probably shouldn’t go together.
Embellish yourself.
Hike the mountain.
Book that trip.
Dance in the kitchen.
Turn off your phone.
Shut the laptop.
Set the boundary.
Say no to something.
So, you can say yes to something else.
This is your invitation,
to say yes to more play,
to say yes to more pleasure,
and to remember that who you are extends far beyond what you produce
and the work that you do.
Life is waiting for you!
I invite you to make it
wonderfully
delicious!
💋-Jamie
Ways We Can Work Together
If this article resonated with you and you’re ready to create more connection, pleasure, authenticity, and freedom in your life or relationships, I’d love to support you.
Here are some ways we can work (and play) together!
1:1 & Couples Coaching
Whether you’re navigating desire, communication, intimacy, relationships, dating, nonmonogamy, self-discovery, or simply longing to feel more connected to yourself and your partner(s), coaching provides a compassionate, judgment-free space to explore, grow, and create meaningful change.
VIP Day Intensive
Looking for a deeper dive? My private VIP Day is an immersive coaching experience designed to help you move through a specific challenge or reconnect with yourself in a powerful way. Together we’ll slow down, reflect, explore, and create a personalized roadmap for your next chapter.
Speaking Engagements & Workshops
Looking for an engaging speaker for your conference, organization, college, wellness event, or community group? I offer educational, inclusive, and thought-provoking presentations on sexuality, relationships, pleasure, communication, consent, nonmonogamy, and intimacy. My goal is to create conversations that are informative, approachable, and leave audiences feeling empowered to think differently about connection.
I’d love to connect with you.
You’re Invited to Real Talk with the Sexperts: Modern Love!
Welcome back! On this month’s Real Talk with the sexperts, we’re exploring Modern Love & Relationship Structures, and how people are redefining partnership, commitment, and connection in real time.
From monogamy to nonmonogamy, situationships to intentional partnership, together, we’ll explore shifting expectations around roles, communication, autonomy, and emotional labor, and how people are navigating love and relationships outside of traditional scripts.
Free! Live on Zoom!
TUESDAY, July 21
6 PM-7 PM EST/3-4 pm PST